On Nobody Psychology
by Cy Fur
Summary: Xion ponders on her own mind, and why she wants things. Roxas/Xion, with mentions of Roxas/Axel.


**I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any characters thereof, and will not be making any money off of them.**

A Nobody's mind is a blank and sterile thing. At least, according to Vexen, it is. Xion remembers sitting on the exam table, swinging her bare feet and feeling the cool air swish past them, more interested in that than in what Vexen was talking about. But Xion remembers the gist of it - they're Nobodies, and Nobodies are nothing but thoughts and memories. No instincts, no impulses, no memories, no _real_ personality. It's a waste of energy and effort to pretend otherwise, according to Vexen, and Xion nods dutifully, more enchanted with the way her hair tickles her cheeks.

Xion tries to think of her mind as a blank white room with shelves of memories, like the Castle's echoing hallways. But it doesn't feel like a big sterile white hallways, because in those big empty places, everything is visible, right? And with Xion's mind, it feels like there are caverns and shadows where things hide, dark things that jump on her when she's least expecting it to whisper things in her ear, hungry things, things that feel red and dark, dangerous and seductive.

She's walking through the library, because she's heard that there are books to read, and she likes books. Likes the way they feel in her hands and the way the paper smells, and likes the way the words seem to swirl into her head from her eyes and line up neatly, all stored away in one of the caverns of her memories, to pop up when she isn't expecting it.

She freezes when she hears the moan. Is someone hurt? It doesn't sound like a pain moan, though. She's heard pain-moans before, when Roxas broke his foot, before Axel cast the heal spell. This one sounds different, although she doesn't know how to describe it, and she's cautious as she makes her way towards the noise.

It's coming from one of the rows between the giant, towering bookshelves. She peeks around one shelf, and she gasps quietly, although she's not sure why.

She sees Axel, one of her best friends, who gives her ice cream and makes the empty place in her chest light up with something like heat, and he's doing… something with Roxas. Roxas is her other best friend, and when she looks at him, something in her sings, off key and out of tune but still singing. And the two of them are on the floor, Axel on his belly and Roxas on top of him, rhythmically pushing his hips. They're both moaning and groaning, whimpering and making these odd noises that make something in Xion's belly clench.

Xion can't see much of anything from here, just the way the two of them are moving, really. Axel's coat is pulled up, and his pants are pulled down, while Roxas' coat is open, with his pants down as well. He's pressing his face to Axel's back, kissing and licking through the leather. Axel has his face pressed into his arms, but Xion must make some kind of noise, because Axel looks up, and he actually glares at her.

"Get lost," he snarls, then gives a long, drawn out groan.

Roxas looks up at Xion, and his face turns dark red. He keeps moving his hips, and Xion catches a glimpse of something flushed dark red that's going… into Axel?

"What're you-?" Xion asks, her voice trembling.

"Out!" Axel actually _roars_, and Xion runs off, because Axel's voice is scary, and she knows that when he gets like this, he will kill her without a second thought. He'd regret it, later, but that wouldn't do her any good.

Xion doesn't see either of them until the next day, when she goes into the Grey Area to find out what her mission for the day will be. She meets Roxas' eyes, and the both of them blush and look away. If Saix notices anything, he doesn't say anything. Instead, he assigns the two of them to a scouting mission in Agrabah, with instructions to come back with information. The two younger Nobodies make affirmative noises and go into the Dark Corridor, neither quite looking at the other.

"Listen, Xion, it, um wasn't-"

"I'm sorry, forget-"

They stop and stare at each other, standing on top of the big platform.

"You go first," Roxas says, fiddling with the chain attached to his Keyblade.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Xion mumbles, even though she doesn't and she isn't. She isn't sorry, and all she wants to do is jump on him and…. She's a little foggy as to what she would do, but she knows that she wants to hear him make noises like the ones that Axel was making. Wants to maybe make them herself. She was thinking about it the night before, and was surprised at the wetness between her legs, cold and slimy, making the fabric of her underwear stick to her in uncomfortable ways.

"It's okay," Roxas says, and his voice cracks. He blushes, and swallows loudly. "It was… we shouldn't have been doing… that in public." His words sound curiously flat, but it would make sense, because he doesn't really feel what he's saying. He's parroting what he knows he's supposed to say.

"So… you wanna get ice cream after the mission?" Xion has to clear her throat first, and her voice still comes out as a bit of a croak.

Roxas smiles at her, clearly relieved. "Sure," he says. "Yeah, that'd be great."

Throughout the mission, Xion watches Roxas out of the corner of her eye, and her whole mind feels… funny. She wants him, wants something that she doesn't know, only that she wants it so badly. It makes her stomach clench and her palms sweat, and by the time they're done with the mission, she's panting like a dog in the sun.

Roxas notices, if only because of how loud she is. "Are you… are you alright?"

"Y-yeah," Xion mumbles. "Just… y'know, out of breath." She wipes her face with her sleeve. "So, um, ice cream?"

"Sure!" Roxas gives her a smile that could almost be real, and she feels something in her chest… clench.

When they buy the ice cream, Xion's hands are shaking. When they sit on the clock tower, she's paying more attention to the way Roxas' tongue looks as it tastes the ice cream than the way the ice cream itself tastes. After his third lick, his tongue gathering blue salty-sweetness, she can't take any more.

Roxas squawks when Xion jumps on him, nearly falling over the edge. He manages to make it so that the two of them are on the ledge and not falling off, onto the ground. He stares at her, wide eyed. "W-w-what are you _doing_?"

Xion is flushed and panting, her face inches away from his. "Hi," she mumbles, staring him straight in the eye. She's acutely aware of every place they're touching - her belly, her breasts, her legs tangled up in his. There is ice cream all over her gloves, and it's sticky against his face.

"Hi," he says back, his hands going to her shoulders, mainly because he doesn't really know what else to do with them. "What are you doing?"

"I'm… not sure." Xion presses her mouth to his again, just as messily, their noses getting in the way and their teeth clicking against each other. She's squirming and wriggling, and she isn't sure why, only that something in one of the caves in the back of her mind is in control, telling her that she _has _to do this, and it doesn't matter why, just so long as she does. So she kisses him again, her sticky, gloved fingers are going to his hair, tugging and twisting it around her fingers.

Roxas breaks their kiss, staring at Xion with almost-confusion. The confusing effect is helped by the fact that he's slightly cross eyed, from being nose to nose with her. "Then why are you d-d-doing…." He stops mid sentence and moans as Xion does something wriggly, pressing her hips against his, because he's apparently having trouble thinking. He lets her tangle his legs with hers, trying to pull her as he rocks his hips up, rubbing the hard thing against Xion's thigh, even through all the layers of leather and denim. His coat is coming unzipped, baring more of his legs and making it easier for him to move them, although the zipper is now pressing into Xion's belly.

Xion gasps, gripping his leg between hers and rubbing off against his thigh, the seam of her pants grinding against something that makes her whole body shiver. Her own coat is unzipping at the bottom, making it easier to hold on to him with her legs. Her sticky fingers are in his hair, although she wants to take her gloves off. But she's too distracted, because it feels so good, tingles running up and down her skin, making her want to twitch and jerk. So she does, while the dark thing from the cave croons and purrs in contentment, no doubt glad to be obeyed for a change.

Roxas is grunting and wriggling against her, his hands moving to her backside, taking handfuls of it and squeezing, pressing her as close to him as he can. Each time he rocks his hips, Xion whimpers, and then she's pressing their mouths together in a sloppy kiss, her tongue in his ice cream tasting mouth.

Xion mewls as Roxas jerks his knee against her, making her hips twitch. She holds on to his hair tightly, feeling the beginning of… something twitching along her back, slithering between her vertebrae, making her groan and hiss as she feels heat bloom under her skin, spreading out like water trickling downhill.

Roxas keeps jerking against her, closing his eyes tightly, until he goes stiff and clutches her close, panting heavily. He looks up at her, his big blue eyes confused. "What… just happened?"

Xion starts to disentangle her sticky hand from Roxas' hair, her face turning pink. "I'm… not sure," she mumbles, feeling the wet stickiness between her legs. The thing in the cave in the back of her mind seems content now, almost purring, and she shifts, because now it's starting to sink in, that she did… something with him, something that she isn't entirely sure what. But she feels oddly content for the moment, and she enjoys it (inasmuch as she can enjoy anything). So she relaxes on Roxas, her head on his chest, and sighs. Maybe Nobodies minds aren't as simple as she originally thought….


End file.
